"I'm sorry," said the polite young man behind the reception desk of the Kamagaya Municipal Swimming Pool. "Rules are rules. Your husband will have to wear a swimming cap."
"But, he's completely bald!"
"Rules are rules. If we change the rules for one person --"
"You'd have to change them for everybody," I said through gritted teeth.
The receptionist nodded, looking relieved. "I'm so glad you understand."
I didn't, though -- not a bit. Swimming caps are to keep hair out of the swimming pool and to keep your hair out of your face while you swim. A swimming cap on a bald man is about as ridiculous as you can get.
"I'm sorry," I told my husband, who had been trying to follow our conversation, "he says he can't bend the rules."
When we saw the sign that said SWIMMING CAPS MUST BE WORN BY ALL SWIMMERS we had laughed at first. Neither of us thought that a bald man would be required to wear one. I'd asked the receptionist if my husband also needed to wear a cap partly as a joke. Now I had to give him the bad news. "He says you'll have to buy a swimming cap or you can't go into the pool."
"Oh, for God's sake!"
"I know, I know. It's ridiculous. But rules are rules."
"But what's the point?"
"Honey, I didn't make the rules!"
"Jeez, it would make more sense to insist that I wrap my body up in cling film."
I sighed. "Look, let's just humor the guy and buy a swimming cap for you, okay?"
It had taken us an hour to get the kids' swimming gear together: the goggles, the suits, the inflatable arm bands, the towels. It had taken another hour for us to get to the pool. The temperature was close to 40 degrees, the humidity near 85%. The kids were hot and cranky and I was tired and in need of a swim, and frankly, I would have done just about anything to get into the pool at that point. Even if it meant buying a completely superfluous swimming cap.
Rules are rules in Japan. Sometimes, they are 100% practical -- no shoes in the house means a lot less vacuuming; washing before you get into the bathtub means the water stays much cleaner and can be used again by others. Sometimes, though, they don't make a lick of sense -- like a swimming cap on a bald head.
My husband grumbled, but he finally went and bought it. A flashy green and black number it was. Somewhere, we've still got it.
