Wednesday 10 March 2010

A Lie

First of all, I got this pretty award from Postman and it's taken me a long time to post it (no pun intended) because I am technically challenged and my daughter has been busy with her studies. But here it is, and doesn't it make you feel like you're drinking a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice out on a balcony, in the sun?

Wish I were.




Postman is a funny, prolific writer with interesting hobbies (flying planes, WWII aircraft identification) and skills (bartending). He is also studying Korean, albeit at a higher level than I am. (I've mastered greetings, asking for water, and food groups.) Visit his blog and prepare to be well entertained.


Then I got this interesting award from two more fine writers, Marcia Hoehne and Anne Spollen, and this one comes with a task: telling a few lies about myself.



The truth is, I'm not a very good liar. When I was a kid, I thought I was pretty good, but years later, I read my mother's journals and discovered that she was on to me all along. Since then, I've lost confidence in my lying skill. Nowadays, I stick to the truth to the extent possible.

Still, I am happy to oblige for the sake of this meme. Like Marcia, I am going to change the rules a little to minimize the trauma of lying. Here are six truths and one lie about me. If you can guess the lie, I'll happily give you a free copy of my very first book to come out. (That's not a lie -- I will! But I'm guessing most of you realize how long you may have to wait.)

1) When I was five, my little sister and I were run over.

2) When I was in graduate school, a friend and I worked as singers and bar girls in a Japanese 'club' in San Francisco.

3) I can do the splits and stand on my head.

4) I have read Yukio Mishima's books in the original Japanese.

5) Three times in a row over a couple of weeks I shared an elevator with Bella Abzug and Gloria Steinem, in New York City. We smiled at each other, but did not say anything.

6) For two years, I co-owned and ran a small inn with my husband. Every single day, I baked my own bread, made my own entrees, desserts, and hors d'ouevres, and worked at least fourteen hours.

7) As an adult, I was deathly ill from the chickenpox. I was so badly afflicted, none of the doctors or nurses in the hospital recognized me when I went back to thank them a week after I got out.

If anyone wants to play along with this, I hope you will join in! I would link to you specifically, but my daughter has left the room.

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26 comments:

Robert the Skeptic said...

Number 3 is a lie. I will tell you why after I win the contest *grins*.

Miss Footloose said...

I agree with Robert the Skeptic: Number 3 is a lie. So if it's the truth he'll get a free copy, but I'll buy a copy of your book whenever it comes out. Just let me know!

(I received the same awards and will post on them soon ;)

e said...

3 has to be it...Congratulations on your award.

Jacqui said...

I am torn. #3 seems farfetched. But then again I have never met you in person. Who knows? Maybe you are incredibly acrobatic. I'm gonna go with the bread one, only because it sounds awesome but I could only fantasize about it.

MG Higgins said...

I think it's number 3 because it's the shortest answer and you said you don't like to lie, so you'd probably keep it unembellished.

CiCi said...

I say #7.

A.T. Post said...

Four seems completely obvious. Three seems the opposite, but that may be why you put it in there. I'll leave that one as it is.

I'm calling number one.

Kit said...

I vote for 3 too - just because it seems so imposisble to me!

Bish Denham said...

I'm going with #1.

Anonymous said...

Oooh how fun! I was going to guess number 3 and I see that I have a lot of company! That makes me want to switch to another because I'm stubborn, but I'm not going to. 3 is a lie!
And I would buy a copy of your book too. :)

Anonymous said...

I say #1 is a lie. :)

Mary Witzl said...

Thank you for guessing, everybody! I'll give this a few more days, then I'll come clean.

Anne Spollen said...

I'm putting my money on #3. Most word people have the athletic ability of Woody Allen.

Marcia said...

Oh boy. Guessing these never gets any easier. I totally buy into 5, 6, and 7. I knew a guy who had chicken pox at 18 and spent a week in the hospital and your details are right on.

2 and 4 seem to fit together, making me not select one of them as the lie. I know kids who've been run over and suffered no lasting effects, and ... I'll go with #3. Not that you couldn't do these things once upon a time, but the headstanders in my family kind of lost it after a certain age.

Kim Ayres said...

I have no doubt you can do number 3, although I don't remember you demonstrating any time I visited. I'm going for number 6, because it's the one that sounds most plausable (double bluff etc), but I don't remember you ever making reference to it.

Lisa Gail Green said...

What a cool post! And you are a good lier! Though maybe if I could see your eye twitching I'd think differently.

I'm guessing the first one. Run over with your sister. Can't wait to find out!

Charlie said...

You often confess to being clumsy and non-athletic, so I was going to choose Number 3 with the Skeptic.

But Kim Ayres is on to something, so I'm going to go with (drumroll) Number 6.

Boy, Abzug and Steinem in the same elevator. Did you ladies have a good old-fashioned bra burning?

Mary Witzl said...

I'm really dying to set the record straight here, but it would be unfair to the next group who will (hopefully) come along and commit themselves. So I will stoically nod to everyone here and bide my time.

God, keeping this in is tough!

Carolie said...

Hmmmm...I'm going to go with #6, because it's well written and detailed, but you've never mentioned such a thing once.

Or maybe it's #2, because I can't imagine you singing in front of a crowd!

I'm SO intrigued!

AnneB said...

Hey, I was in an elevator once with Jesse Jackson and his entourage, and shared a limo with Eunice Shriver! So there.

I'm guessing the lie is about the splits. Anything else sounds reasonable.

Unknown said...

After mulling this over, I'm going with #5. It seems like a dream narrative. And I imagine smiling *at* someone in an elevator is a breach of etiquette.

Marian Perera said...

I could buy someone standing on their head, but doing the splits seems really... gymnastic.

Falak said...

Confused between # 2 and 7:)

Mary Witzl said...

Yay, Carolie, you're back!! AnneB, you know I've shaken hands with Bobby Kennedy and Bill Cosby, right? Between you and me, we might not be able to dine on our famous people anecdotes, but we could definitely get lunch. Blythe, there is almost an unspoken elevator behavior code that is roughly the same all over the States. Marian and Falak, I'm not saying ANYthing just yet, and it's hurting me something awful...

Robin said...

Wow. You're good. I'm going to guess #6. I just can't figure out where you would have had the Inn. I know you guys were in Japan, and teaching in Scotland, so I can't figure out when the Inn would have taken place. That's my guess and I'm sticking to it. I think. No. I am.

Mary Witzl said...

Robin -- Hee hee! I'm beginning to see that I really AM a good liar. Maybe my mother was just extra shrewd at spotting prevaricators.